Spring & Summer 2021

There is nothing permanent except change. -Heraclitus

Hello! It has been a while since my last post. Back in March, I experienced some unforeseen change. Totally unforeseen- just thrust upon me! I really am not a fan. I like to plan for changes and even then it’s not easy. Nevertheless, I moved through it, kicking and screaming at first. Now, however, I have settled into a new normal and I’m liking it a lot!
So what happened is my building had some structural damage, and one morning I was notified that the building was closed. No entry. No timeline. Very little information. As the days and weeks went by it became clear that I would need to relocate. Meanwhile, I had clients to see and a business to run. Finding a new location was a quite a process. So many things were thrown off that it has taken a while to get settled. But despite the upheaval and stress, many positives have emerged. I love my new office and the change has been refreshing. I have learned some things about change, and about myself, and gained new awareness of what unexpected change is like. In the scheme of things, this was not a horrible emergency, but it was still so stressful! It gives me even more compassion for the challenges that we all go through.
Now I am hearing the voice that says, ‘wow, you should have gotten a post out a lot sooner…” but I am declining the guilt invite. It’s okay to take a break and regroup, right?
Based on all of this, the topic of change has been on my mind. I hear stories everyday of how change impacts my clients, family and friends. It is just a tough thing. Our brain does not like change and generally sees it as threatening. Many of us notice this uncomfortable truth, even when it is a good change that we are choosing. We need to give ourselves and others some grace when it comes to change.
The other thing on my mind is Summer! I love summer, and it’s great to have a more normal summer this year (post Covid). I always strive to enjoy the season. Even with change, and all the ups and downs of life, the season changes. After winter comes spring and then summer. Life moves forward.

I invite you to embrace the change and gifts of the season. Whatever changes you are dealing with in your life, strive to find compassion and support for yourself and others. And as always, allow yourself to be a work in progress.
If you need some help or support, please reach out and contact me at linda@stilescousneling.com

Change

From Merriam-Webster

As a verb: To Alter, To Transform, To Modify, To Become Different
As a noun: Transformation, Transition, Turning Point, Evolution

Tips for Dealing with Change

Acceptance – Make space for your feelings and your process. And try to accept the things you cannot change and focus on what is in your circle of control. If we drop our resistance (even if we are not happy about it), it will decrease our stress.

Self–Care – Make space for your feelings and needs. Increase your self-care. Try to recharge your battery so you can effectively navigate the change.

Support – Seek support from friends, family, your therapist, your doctor. Ask for help. Get advice and information.

Mindfulness – Try to stay in the present and avoid futurizing or dwelling on the negatives and possible worst-case scenarios. Take things step by step; day by day or even hour by hour.

Self–Awareness – Notice what is hardest about the change, the situation etc. Notice what thoughts make you feel worse and increase your anxiety, stress or anger. And what thoughts are more helpful and calming. Notice where you feel your emotions in your body. Notice what you need. Notice your resistance to change, to acceptance, to help or whatever.

Breathe – Just Breathe. Learn some breathing techniques. Breath work is proven to lower stress and anxiety and calm your nervous system. In this exact moment, all you have to do is breathe. Try breathing in for 4, holding for 4 and out for 5. Repeat several times. Feel the ground beneath you.

Things to Read

How to Deal With Unexpected Change | SUCCESS

The Psychology Of Dealing With Change: How to Become Resilient (psycom.net)

Quotes & Inspiration

When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves. -Viktor Frankl

The measure of intelligence is the ability to change -Albert Einstein

The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude -Oprah Winfrey

By changing nothing, nothing changes. – Tony Robbins

All great changes are preceded by chaos. – Deepak Chopra

Change is inevitable. Growth is optional. – John C. Maxwell

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.        – Jacob M. Braude

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. -Reinhold Niebuhr

Fun Things to Do in Summer

There are a lot of things to celebrate in July. Starting with July 4th- Independence Day.
https://www.thespruce.com/special-days-observances-in-july-4846435
https://www.kansascitymag.com/100-fun-things-to-do-this-summer-in-kansas-city/